[["megaxkcd" in Japanese quote characters. An anime girl with pigtails, long rectangular earrings and a blank expression stands with her arms at her sides.]]
Narration: In today's megaxkcd, our protagonist comes to terms with his romantic love for a girl who is a video game console accessory.
Man 1: Wait, I'm not sure we should parody megatokyo.
Man 2: Fred Gallagher does seem like he might take it kind of hard.
Man 1: He really does.
Man 2: Poor guy. We should try to cheer him up.
[[Man 1 and Man 2 stand in front of a profile shot of a house. On the left is a mailbox. Man 2 stands at street level, while Man 1 is holding a cake on the top of a two-step staircase to the front door.]]
Man 2: Fred? Fred, please come out. It's OK. Don't cry, Fred.
Man 1: We... we baked you a cake.
{{title text: I just want to give him a hug or something.}}
Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.