[[The confirmation hearings begin...]]
Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.
Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
Hat Guy: It was parked across two spaces.
Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
Hat Guy: Got three mimes, too.
Senator: You disrupted a 9
11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
Hat Guy: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!
Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
Hat Guy: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
Hat Guy: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
Which I won, by the way.
Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Senator: And this--you stole a nuclear submarine?
Hat Guy: I plead the third.
Senator: You mean the fifth?
Hat Guy: No, the third.
Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
Hat Guy: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
Meanwhile...
[[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp]]
Pilot: We're nearing Washington, sir.
Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.
Pilot: It's a balloon.
Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.
{{Title Text: He actually installed each piece in a different car on the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.}}
Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.