[[Randall Monroe on stage]]
Randall - Hi. I'm Randall. Welcome to my TED talk.
Randall - it's an honor to speak to you, some of the brightest innovators from so many fields, about a problem in desperate need of your attention:
Randall - How DO you end parenthetical statements with emoticons? I can't figure out a good way.
[[Screen next to him shows two statements, both crossed out in red]]
Screen - "Linux (or BSD :) would..."
(in red) "looks mismatched"
"Linux (or BSD :)) would..."
(in red) "looks mismatched and weird"
[[Randall writing on a desk]]
Randall's List - Conferences I'm banned from:
Siggraph
Eurocrypt
Defcon
Pycon
International Astronomical Union
Canadian Paleontology Conference
Every American Furry Convention
American Baking Society
Asian Dolphin-Training Conference
TED
{{Alt-text: The IAU ban came after the 'redefinition of the 'planet' to include the IAU president's mom' incident.}}
Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.