Narrator: Dear various parents, grandparents, co-workers, and other "not computer people."
Narrator: We don't magically know how to do everything in every program. When we help you' we're usually just doing this:
[[There is a flowchart there. Numbers are included to improve clarity, and do not appear in the original.]]
Rectangle: Start.
[[go to 1]]
{{1. Diamond}} Find a menu item or button which looks related to what you want to do.
[[I can't find one - go to 2]]
[[ok - go to 3]]
{{2. Diamond}} Pick one at random.
[[I've tried them all - go to 4]]
[[Ok - go to 3]]
{{3. Rectangle}} Click it.
[[go to 5]]
{{4. Rectangle}} Google the name of the program plus a few words related to what you want to do. Follow any instructions.
[[go to 5]]
{{5. Diamond}} Did it work?
[[Yes - go to 8]]
[[No - go to 6]]
{{6. Diamond}} Have you been trying this for over half an hour?
[[Yes - go to 7]]
[[No - go to 1]]
{{7. Rectangle}} Ask someone for help or give up.
[[End of flowchart]]
{{8. Rectangle}} You're done!
[[End of flowchart]]
Narrator: Please print this flowchart out and tape it near your screen. Congratulations; you're now the local computer expert!
{{Title text: 'Hey Megan, it's your father. How do I print out a flowchart?'}}
Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.