[[Person is on the phone, and holding up some networking hardware.]]
Person: ... restart my computer? I know you have a script to follow, but the uplink light on the modem is going off every few hours. The problem is between your office and the modem.
Person: My computer has nothing to do with ... okay, whatever, I "restarted my computer."
Person: It's still down, and even if it comes back, it's going to die again in a few hours, because your--
Person: I don't HAVE a start menu. This is a Haiku install, but that's not import--
Person: Haiku? It's an experimental OS that I ... oh, never mind.
Person: I'm sorry, but this won't get fixed until I talk to an engineer. Can you look around for someone wearing cargo pants, maybe a subway map on their wall?
[[The tech support person on the other end is wearing a headset, and looks around.]]
Tech: There's a chick two phones over with a stuffed penguin doll and a poster of some bearded dudes with swords.
Person: Perfect. Can you put her on?
Tech: Sure.
[[Person is now talking to the engineer.]]
Person: Hey, so sorry to bother you, but my connection--
Engineer: Yeah, I see it. Lingering problems from a server move.
<<type type>>
Engineer: Should be fixed now.
Person: Thank you SO MUCH.
Engineer: No problem. Hey, in the future, if you're on any tech support call, you can say the code word "shibboleet" at any point and you'll be automatically transferred to someone who knows a minimum of two programming languages.
Person: Seriously?
Engineer: Yup. It's a backdoor put in by the geeks who built these phone support systems back in the 1990's.
Engineer: Don't tell anyone.
Person: Oh my god, this is the greatest--
[[Person wakes up.]]
Person: Wha--
Person: ... DAMMIT.
{{Title text: I recently had someone ask me to go get a computer and turn it on so I could restart it. He refused to move further in the script until I said I had done that.}}
Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.