[[Person is on the phone.]]
Person: Hello? 911? I'm trapped!
Person: It's dark and I can't see anything except these two distorted splotches of light!
Person: Help!
[[The 911 operator is in an office, wearing a headset.]]
Operator: Splotches of light? Your ... eyeballs?
Person (over phone): I think that's what they are! There's meat everywhere!
Operator: ... so you're a brain.
Person (over phone): Yes!
Operator: Yeah, we all are. You're not trapped. Use your body to walk around and experience reality.
Person: But everything's just signals in my sensory cortices! How can I be sure they correspond to an external world?!
Operator (over phone): I'm sorry, but we can't send a search-and-rescue team into Plato's cave.
{{Title text: Socrates could've saved himself a lot of trouble if he'd just brought a flashlight, tranquilizer gun, and a bunch of rescue harnesses.}}
Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.